This post is a little bit different to what I usually write about. I love writing about fashion and beauty, but I would also like to share my life experiences with you all from time to time.
This subject is very close to my heart, being a single woman in her mid twenties, and I feel several other women in the same boat would be able to easily relate the way I feel. Now, if you are in a relationship, congratulations, that is fantastic and I’m so happy for you, sincerely. This is not a post of a bitter single girl hating on people in relationships at all. Just wanted to clear that up straight away.
So, if you’re single like me, you’re probably sick of being asked “do you have a boyfriend yet?” by family members at parties, weddings and seasonal gatherings. Family parties are a minefield when you’re in your 20’s and single. There’s always a relative that thinks they know someone perfect for you and gives you a pep talk about meeting the right guy. Then there’s social situations with friends, when someone will ask “Are you dating anyone at the moment?” and when you say no, you see the look of pity on their face, like it’s a terrible thing that you’re not dating anyone and don’t yet have a boyfriend. I’m used to this on an almost daily basis, and honestly, it’s so frustrating! I sometimes want to shout “NO, because I don’t need a boyfriend to feel validated” but then that could be considered a rude response. Then there’s “I can’t believe you still haven’t got a boyfriend!” which makes me so mad! Its like this terrible travesty has happened, you haven’t accepted the first offer on the table and now you’re *gasp* STILL SINGLE!? It’s pretty funny actually, and really stupid that people still think that way.
I’m fully in a mind-set that I don’t NEED a boyfriend, even though society tells me I probably should at this age. But I think society needs to get with the damn times and realise it’s the 21st century and women do not require a man to be validated or considered “complete”. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to meet a great guy and fall in love and be happy together, but I utterly refuse to just settle with anyone just because I’m apparently supposed to. I think the media and social conventions makes us believe that finding a partner is the be-all and end-all in life. We’re supposed to dress, act and speak a certain way to attract them, and spend the rest of your relationship making sure you’re giving them what they want so that we won’t be eternally alone. I find that ridiculous because the only person we should be trying to impress is ourselves. But there is this constant lingering message of “what if I don’t meet someone” planted in our minds, making us anxious that we’ll get to 30 and still be single, and that would be so terrible. Well I say that’s totally crap (excuse the French), we should take as much time as we need to find the right person for us, and we don’t need anyone telling us that our biological clock is ticking or that we need to hurry or we’ll become “cat ladies”. Its shocking that we are still made to feel this way in this day and age.
I’m challenging this because I feel it’s important for every woman to feel she can choose who she wants, and take all the time she needs before she settles down, without being bombarded by everyone telling them what they should be doing. If you’re single and in your 20’s, so what? Be yourself for a while. Enjoy yourself, figure out who you are then when YOU are ready, settle down. We live longer now, so there’s plenty of time. Don’t stress, just be you ❤